aloof, attractiveness, betas, comfort, communication, confidence, drama, emotions, flirt, flirting, girlfriend, hobbies, insecurity, relationship, relationship problems, sex, sex life, soft dread, tingles, validation, wife
Men have trouble with relationships with women for one main reason: they don’t understand women. If you try to relate to your wife/gf as you have been taught, you will have major problems. It’s not about being open and honest in your communication despite what you’ve been taught. If you try to be open and honest in your communication, you will have relationship problems because you will try to communicate like your woman is a man and she won’t understand. You have to communicate with your woman understanding that she thinks differently than you do. She is very emotional and needs to look up to you. You can’t let her see your emotional baggage but you have to help her deal with her emotions. This means listening to her venting sometimes without worrying about solutions. Not too much or she will despise you, but enough so that she begins to calm down.
It’s important to understand women’s emotional needs. Women need flirting (aka “sexualization” aka “tingles”), comfort, validation, and drama. Meet the emotional needs of your woman and 90% of your problems will diminish substantially. You will get far fewer 5h1t-tests. Your woman may be able to think more rationally. You will gain confidence in your relational ability.
So, flirt with your woman continually, but not continuously. Don’t give her continuous attention–she will come to despise you because of too much familiarity and ease of access. Your woman needs to find you valuable and see you as a bit aloof. If your time is really valuable, your woman won’t get all of it. You will have a life apart from her. You will have hobbies and other interests and male friends. You do need to flirt quite a bit, though, to keep up her interest even if you aren’t going to have sex immediately.
Women need a lot of comfort. Even alphas (hawt guys) have to provide comfort in relationships. Providing comfort is often perceived as beta, but beta behavior provides comfort without sexualizing. If your woman flirts with you a lot–especially if she instigates flirting–her sexual attraction to you is high. Too much and she will become uncomfortable, so you will need to provide comfort along with sexualization. You need to keep your woman reminded that you are a man and flirting does this. Otherwise your sex life will likely dwindle.
Women are all insecure about their sexual attractiveness. They need to have a man validate their attractiveness. This is another problem with betas–they give validation way too freely. I only provide validation if I am bedding a woman. I will compliment a woman about her clothing, accessories, etc., but not her looks. I will validate my wife somewhat. I parcel out validation so that she finds it valuable.
Now we come to drama. Women may not like drama, but they need it. If a man doesn’t provide it, a woman will create it. Hence, a man will provide some drama so that it can be controlled and won’t explode and cause damage to the relationship. One way to create drama is to go out without your wife/gf to a social venue like a bar or dance studio where you will be around other women. This is where you implement Soft Dread. The aim of Soft Dread is to keep your value high in the eyes of your woman. You create some insecurity so that she will always be chasing you. That way she won’t worry about other men. She will assume that other women are indicating their interest in you. It goes without saying that she will hit you with insecurity tests and loyalty tests. You will need to reassure her of your loyalty and provide a lot of comfort after an evening out without her.
Summing up relationship dynamics– Communicate with a woman like she’s a man with a huge emotional problem. Flirt with your woman continually but not continuously. Provide your woman adequate comfort. Provide your woman with validation, but sparsely. Use Soft Dread to keep your value high in the eyes of your woman.