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I was out dancing Sat. night at my favorite country bar. The music was loud and the lights were low. It got crowded around 11 pm. I had danced with maybe ten girls, then approached a girl to ask her to dance. She was with several guys in her group. She declined in a way that seemed patronizing. I just smiled an amused smile and said, “Ok,” then moved to the next girl, whom I asked to dance, and she accepted. Both girls were attractive. The first girl then said that she would dance with me, but I told her that I was sorry, but I already had a partner and that we could dance later. When I finished the dance, the girl and her group had left.

Let’s see if we can figure out what happened. Something happened to cause the girl to change her mind. Maybe one of the guys with her told her that he had noticed that I was a good dancer. Likely her change of mind was related to dancing and it happened very quickly. Probably it involved giving me social proof in her eyes, so that she saw me as having social value, which would have made dancing with me appealing. She therefore decided to accept my offer, which was now moot.

The girl likely was annoyed at being rejected as well as missing an opportunity to dance with a good dancer at her whim and decided that she wanted to leave and told the men that they were going elsewhere. When the girl saw that I was able to find an attractive dance partner almost immediately, that likely increased my value in her eyes and increased her annoyance at missing an opportunity. The girl likely has a lot of entitlement going on and perhaps needs some ego validation, so she feeds that by being the only girl with a group of guys.