Cane Caldo recently posted There’s No Way Around No I totally concur that a man has to enforce his boundaries when a woman tests them…whether he’s in a relationship where his wife tests them or in a bar where a stranger tests them. The key is in how a man perceives those tests.

I want to use Cane’s post as a springboard.

A man’s perception of tests is heavily colored by how he views women. If he views women as creatures with the same sexual tactics and strategies as men (essentially, like an egalitarian views women), then his anger might be triggered by these tests. Of course, viewing women essentially as men with tits and vaginas (who think like men) is a mistake. When women test men, there is not necessarily any malice or contempt or threat. Rather, the test may simply be of the caliber of the man. A wise man will view such tests as an indication that the woman wants to know his mettle and will respond to this quite proper question by displaying his value as a man with understanding and humor. Quite possibly, the proper response is flirting, amplifying the test (she: how old are you…he: older than dirt), or even ignoring it (except possibly smiling with a look of amused mastery).

If a man has been in the habit of failing tests from his wife and he suddenly starts to pass them, his wife will be skeptical of this new man and will hit him with a barrage of tests. If he’s not careful, his anger may be triggered and he will start failing tests again because he responds out of anger. The man must be the unmoving oak in the midst of these tests, laughing and enjoying the challenge.