Tags
age, boyfriend, fate, fly, girl, girl says, life, love, married, questions, says, shit test, wife, zipper
Hello my fantastically brilliant readers! Let’s put our heads together and figure out common difficult questions (shit tests) that girls ask us and figure out replies that will smash those shit tests.
What do you say when a girl says…
- “I can’t believe I’m dancing (or talking) with someone so old” (or some variation based on old age)…you say, “If you behave, we might get you an ice cream later.”
- “Your fly is open…you say, “It’s hard to keep the tiger caged.”
- “But you’re married!”…you say, “My wife doesn’t understand me…I have too much love to give to just one girl.”
- “But I have a boyfriend.”…you say, “You’re so lucky…I’m sure he’s a great lover and totally idolizes you.”…she will try to think of ways that her bf isn’t a great lover and she will be turned off when she thinks about him pedestalizing her
- “I have to get up early.”…you say, “Sometimes fate only gives us one chance. We have to grab life by the horns and shake it.”
Feel free to add your questions/answers to the comments.
The Autistic Gamer 
I had not realized that you had your own blog, ASDgamer 🙂
These lines look good… I particularly like the ice cream one lol
I am starting to implement that playfulness in my interactions with girls; I have seen some results.
I think that my biggest problem is that I don’t really like the typical socializing of Saturday night, so I might come off as inauthentic, as a dude who is there just for hooking up and does not care about anything else. I have always liked to talk to others but preferably about politics, history or even sports if necessary… “serious” topics that women loathe for the most part.
You can change your personality…I used to be much more introverted and a little shy…my shyness gradually disappeared when I was around socially skilled and fun people…my social skills improved and my mood lightened. You might seek friends who are socially skilled and fun to be around and learn from them. Conversely, you might have to bid some socially awkward and morose friends “adieu”.
1. Old age – Yes, and get off my lawn, because I’m about to get very crabby.
4. You have a boyfriend? That’s funny, that’s exactly what my girlfriend would say about me?
OR
That’s nice, I have a pet goldfish.
I’d love to hear more about the get up early excuse. That’s the one I hear most often.
4. Her: but I have a bf
Me: oh…so you have a dog too. 😉
These mechanical answers remind me of Owen Cook from _The Game_. Owen tried to reverse-engineer social behavior, while locked in his room moderating men’s message boards instead of meeting actual women. Owen tweeted he might be on the spectrum.
Women half my age never raised the issue. For most of these questions, women are just asking whether you are comfortable. You need not make everything into a joke.
#3) Marriage is legitimate situation to address. If a woman is just seeking reassurance that there will be no drama, then you could say “It’s complicated” or “It that a problem?” Or you could just tell her you’re separated.
Sometimes women test whether you have the fortitude to enforce boundaries. But their questions can raise legitimate concerns that you must allay. You must understand her emotional issue to respond appropriately. You can’t memorize a solution for everything.
When a woman asks about your age, it’s always a shit test.
Same thing when a woman asks if you’re married.
A boundary issue is a test of masculinity and can be a shit test or a relationship test, depending on context.
These are questions that a woman uses to try to justify in her mind not banging you. You don’t _have_ to make a joke of it, but you’re coming across as autistic. Why not have fun and be playful? If you ping a woman’s playful nature, you’re less likely to run into anti-slut defenses or last minute resistance.
There are a several things that make life more tolerable. Working hard and accomplishing something. Great loves. Great sex. A relaxed and playful approach to life. And illegitimi non carborundum. Don’t let the bastards wear you down.
Everything is not a shit test. When a woman is seeking information, “My wife doesn’t understand me” is pathetic. A woman who asks about marriage wants to avoid drama and ensure you are comfortable with the situation.
I rarely experienced last minute resistance, nor tolerated sexual manipulation.
You are in a long-term marriage. Unless you state otherwise, I presume you don’t sleep with new women, and are consequently regurgitating stuff you gleaned from the internet. Dancing does not count.
So you are saying that a woman who is asking if you are married is doing a comfort test. That is forebrain stuff and doesn’t happen out in the field. In my experience, a woman who asks about marriage is shit testing.
You cannot mechanically solve every interaction with a flippant answer. I was forthright about my status before, during, and after marriage, and martial status was never an issue. Perhaps I dispatched the question so quickly that I forgot.
Women ask about marriage for different reasons. Some women don’t date married men. Others want to avoid drama and cheaters. They will date swingers, but won’t enable dishonest husbands to hurt their wives.
I suspect you dance without your wife, so women are trying to distinguish whether you are seriously flirting. If you are serious, then tell them it is alright, and let them make their own decision. They cannot feel comfortable unless they know you are comfortable.
When I was separated, women just wanted reassurance I was legitimately single, so they didn’t become home-wreckers. Sometimes a joke shows you are comfortable with a situation. But it most important to be relaxed and own your situation. Women can sense discomfort, incongruence, and evasion. Many women will date married men, but not spineless liars.
Women might also ask whether you are a Republican/conservative, a nudist, a polyamorist, a Muslim, or whatever. One ultra-liberal girlfriend told me she didn’t date conservatives, because the town catered to rich, white, privileged men. I fist pumped and exclaimed “Yeah, my people!” She just laughed.
Honesty is the generally the best policy here, owning your shit. The exception is #5, where you might say “Just one more drink … .”
Perhaps women ask you about marriage because you are playing flirting games, but are not serious. You have blogged for years without documenting that you sleep with different women (swinging, open-marriage, etc.), so I think these women have a legitimate point. They do not want to reciprocate flirting with a manipulative poseur. Or they are telling you to back off since you regularly bring your wife to the same venue.