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Especially for autists: social skills development

If you want women to see you as high value, you need something called “social proof”, which is evidence that you have some social skills.  Social proof is a valuable thing to have.  Social proof is created when you chat up several people in a bar in different locations and interact favorably with them.  Other people see that you interact favorably with other people (maybe because other people laugh and smile at your jokes) and will attribute social proof to you.

Certain people at the bar will be especially interested in talking with you–bartenders, bouncers, and maybe waitresses.  Of course, this is when business is slow and they don’t have much to do.  So, chat up bouncers for a little bit–maybe 30 secs–at the gate.  Ask about their job, if you don’t know.  Not how much they make, but interesting stories about their job and what people need to know about bouncers.  Very useful stuff to know, lots of times.  So chat up bouncers.  Don’t distract them from doing their job, though.  Say good bye if they need to focus on the crowd.

Bartenders are another group that is often bored and they tend to be very social.  Bartenders tend bar because they enjoy interacting with people.  They will be happy to chat you up if you don’t come off awkward.  Even if you make a mistake by doing or saying something inappropriate, you can still minimize its impact.  It’s important to learn from your mistakes, including social mistakes.  You have to chat people up to learn social skills.  And you will make mistakes.  It’s a necessary part of learning and growth and social skills development.  So don’t fret if you make a mistake, but seek to compensate for it by minimizing the impact of mistakes.  There are all kinds of resources online about social skills and some of them will provide info about minimizing the impact social mistakes.  And bartenders are among the least likely to ostracize you for a social mistake and they will tend to give people plenty of leeway to make mistakes.  Bartenders want people to buy drinks, so they typically don’t want to chase people away.  Chat up bartenders–including women bartenders.  Bartenders are even easier to chat up than bouncers are.

Waitresses are another group of people that tend to be very social and give people a lot of leeway to make mistakes.  However, they are a bit more cautious than bartenders are because they don’t have a bar as a boundary/defensive wall which will give them some protection from other people.  Waitresses still are willing to take some risks or they wouldn’t wait on people.  If business is slow, they may be happy to chat with you.

Ok, so now you’ve chatted with three or four people while the crowd is thin and the crowd is starting to come in.  People have seen you chatting and getting favorable reactions.  You have social proof, so more people will want to chat with you, including women.  Keep the ball rolling by continuing to chat with people.