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I was mall-walking tonight. It was cold and I wanted some separation from Mrs. Gamer and I wanted to get in some more exercise. I had already walked five miles today and done some exercises. So, I was getting bored after 45 min. of walking. Just people watching. I tried different expressions to see what would get girls curious enough to look at me and maybe catch my eye. A simple smile worked the best from what I knew. But then, I started thinking about the time that I had been in a bottle rocket war with neighbor kids and during the war the roof of my family’s house was set on fire. Thinking about that gave me the biggest smile and people started looking at me. I started thinking about other stuff that I had done where I had been bad and had had a lot of fun. There had been a Boy Scout retreat where some of us older boys had bombarded the cabin with bottle rockets and roman candles. The leaders had come out, but we had kept up the bombardment so that the leaders had had to retreat back in. We eventually returned to the cabin and we all had to apologize, snickering, of course. Great fun!
So I passed by a women’s cosmetic store and saw a clerk in there–a pretty early 20s woman alone. Likely bored. A light bulb went off. I was gonna open her and try a new approach I had just thought up. I walked back to the store and entered, walking confidently with my hands out wide welcoming. Kind of like Donald Trump walks, though I wasn’t trying to walk like Trump. As I was approaching her, the clerk asked, “Is there something I can do to help you?” I told her, smiling, “No, but I have something I want to share with you.” She leaned over the counter towards me and said, “What is it?” I replied, “If you ever need a pick-me-up, remember something you did that was a lot of fun and also really bad.” At this point my smile changed to a wicked grin. The woman smiled broadly and said, “Good to know. Thanks!” I turned and walked towards the door. The clerk yelled at me, “Have a very good evening, sir!” One little word, “very”, told me that I had demonstrated high value to the clerk. The experiment had been a resounding success. I was the man giving away goodies with no expectation of a return–demonstrating high status and non-neediness. I was totally confident approaching the woman–my body language and facial expression showed it. I was in the Zone ™.
That pick-me-up really works if you need to up your attitude. Say you’re going out sarging and don’t feel confident or positive or you’re too analytical or introspective. Try the pick-me-up. It will put you in the Zone. Then you can share the pick-me-up with a girl as an opener.
I should add that my excitement over my discovery carried over to the girl and she likely saw the nonverbals and responded to them as much as to what I actually said. If you can achieve that excitement, it will help your approach. You can say stupid stuff and it will still have an impact if you are excited about what you’re saying. I was really excited about what I was saying–I was authentic. Being authentic helps with nonverbals.