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Well, at least I felt like it would.  I had “motivational issues” last Saturday night–I didn’t want to go out dancing.  Mrs. Gamer and I weren’t on good terms at the time.  My system was flooded with cortisol–the bad feelz hormone.  I knew that those feelz had nothing to do with what kind of night I might have.  I have had lots of experiences where a night started off bad and something happened to make it pick up later.  Sometimes not, but you roll with the punches.  I don’t want to be a slave to my feelz.  So, I pushed through and forced myself to go out.  I realized later that when you have a fight with a SO, that that is exactly when you <I>as a man</I> most need to go out.  So I went out dancing at a country bar that is the wildest in town, but is almost an hour’s drive from my house.

I was driving along and listening to music, trying to improve my attitude.  Not much was happening.  I realized that I needed to figure out what I was going to chat about with people.  This was something practical that I needed to do for the night.  I figured that I would need to chat with some fun folks before my attitude would improve.  Thinking about chatting topics also took my mind off my bad feelz and they started to diminish.

It was very cold out, but I took off my jacket.  (I didn’t want to bring it into the bar.  One of my coats was taken from there once.)  So, I walked into the bar and the cold forced me to brace myself and to walk briskly.  I walked through an area where the clique sitting there doesn’t like me.  (I don’t know exactly why, but I suspect that it’s because I dance with young women and I’m married.)  I said “hello” in passing to a few people in that area that I am still on good terms with.

I reached my destination–a friend whom I like to sit with because he’s fun and a little bawdy.  I saw a broad sitting in “my seat”.  I wondered what’s up?  So, I sat down next to her and my friend introduced us.    Her body language was very closed and she was facing away from my friend, so there was nothing going on between them.  I faced my friend and was relaxed and listened to the convo.  The woman (I’ll call her ‘X’) had been called a whore by a man she had friend-zoned.  Apparently, she had banged another guy the same night (NYE) that she had gone out with the friend-zone and FZ didn’t realize that he had been FZ’d.  So X had had words that night with FZ.  She was having drama feelz.

We three chatted.  I told a few stories about stuff that had happened to me recently that were fun and the others also told stories.   Good times and good feelz.  I danced with X and we had different styles and had to figure out how to dance with each other.  She told me that she liked Cowboy ChaCha.  I do, too.  It’s choreographed and can be a romantic dance with the couples dancing close.  So, I danced Cowboy ChaCha with X and it was fun–she tucked in offset right and close with her in front and me behind–her left butt on my groin.

Later, X wanted to dance Twenty Step with me, so we danced it.  Again, she was tucking in close.  It was fun, but I still didn’t realize what she wanted.  Later, X was making out with NYE near our table.  I gave her space and went and danced with other girls.  Then I found my favorite waitress and flirted with her a little.  She giggled a lot.  Some pretty young girls whom I knew asked me to dance.  Another partner made a lot of mistakes and giggled a lot.  I asked her to dance a second time.  One old gal told me that I am good-looking (she’s such a charmer) and asked if I had a gf at the bar.  I told her that I have gf’s all over, lol.

I returned after NYE had left to my table and X was sitting there alone.  X wanted to talk about dancing after a bit, so we did.  We got up to try out our dancing styles and to figure out dance chemistry there by our table on the side.  First we did some country two-step stuff, then went into experimenting with different stuff.  X turned around and started grinding on me–her butt to my groin.  Then she turned around again and wanted to grind in tight, with thighs up close and personal.  Finally, X showed me how she wanted to dance Cowboy ChaCha–starting the dance with my hand on her belly and close, with my groin to her left butt.  We got up and danced it out on the dance floor like that.

Finally, I saw X holding NYE off in his area and I approached and told her good night.  Then I saw a buddy and we chatted for a few minutes and got caught up.  He’s leaving town.  It was good to see him.  I didn’t mind giving him a hug.  (His ex-girlfriend used to chase me before he and I knew each other.)  Funny how things work out.

It ended up being a fun night and I learned a lesson and got some stories for my book.  I’m glad that I went out.

  1. Don’t be a slave to your feelz.  Push through bad feelz.  A lot of times you end up having fun anyway.
  2. If you have an SO, go out even if you just had a fight.
  3. Some girls like to dance tight and flirty.