blog, busted, deeper purpose, depth, drama, emotional connection, emotional depth, emotional roller coaster, favorite movie, frame, gambit, game, gamer, happy spirit, humor, lol, mind, natural, opening ploy, play, sex, social value, strength, temporary advantage, thinking
I tried the “emotional connection” gambit on Mrs. Gamer in the middle of sex:
Me: So, what’s your favorite movie?
She: Why are you asking me that? (lol, Mrs. Gamer is very sharp and I had an intuitive response ready)
Me: I’m trying to establish an emotional connection. (epic fail here on the opening ploy because I’m losing frame, but it sets up the real game–it’s a gambit where you give up something initially for a deeper purpose or some temporary advantage)
She: Why do you want to do that? Is this some principle you learned from a blog? (I’m lol’ing here at Mrs. Gamer’s very quick mind and her thinking that she has me totally busted; none of this play puts sex on hold)
Me: Answer my question. (correct move to reestablish my frame)
She: I don’t have a favorite movie. (she thinks that she is in control because she is able to avoid giving a specific answer, but really she is in my frame)
Me: “A walk to remember”? “The Notebook”? “Count of Monte Christo”? (I won’t let her avoid the emotional connection; I lead her with tasty breadcrumbs)
She: I like those, but I don’t have a favorite movie. (emotional connection established despite/because of the gambit and drama; Mrs. Gamer suspects that she’s being played and likes it, but hates losing the game)
After sex, because Mrs. Gamer is unhappy about losing the game, she gave me some more crap for gaming her with this bullshit (such as “If you have to ask after all these years we’ve been married”, “This is stuff you ask when you are getting to know someone.’, etc.) and I smashed it by lol’ing. The game was in smashing her shit tests–the “emotional connection” was just the opening gambit.
Women like to see you handle their drama and see that you can play complex emotional/frame games. It shows emotional depth and social value. It creates an emotional roller coaster for them and lets them experience the strength of your frame. Naturals excel at this play. Create drama by losing frame, then reestablishing frame. And you have to do it with humor and a happy spirit or it gets tiresome.