apologize, attitude, cell phone, creep, creepy, deliberate, discomfitted, dog, flirty, frame, friendly, hand, hike, invite back, joke, leaders, lick, licking, meetup, microscope, new contact info, outhouse, picture, pictures, polite, rapport, relax, respond, scenery, social, status, text message, uncertain, unconcerned, winery, wonery
I signed up for a hike last Saturday. When it came time to meet, the road to the group’s meetup location was closed. I was early, so I went looking for other people. They were waiting not too far from the barricade and we all went to an alternate location.
First, a girl who was a fellow hiker whom I’ve been on hikes with in the past wanted a hug, so I gave her one. Then the group leaders (a man and a woman) said that they wanted to talk with me, so I went with them.
There was to be a discussion of a previous hike and winery event. Ok, I was expecting this. However, they said I had done some stuff I don’t recall doing. Like licking a particular woman. Now, this previous event had involved a lot of wine. We took pics of all the dead soldiers lined up. People were very silly. Girls were standing up swaying, waving their hands over the heads, and shouting, “Woohoo, no pants!”
That gives you the emotional context of the winery portion of the meetup. Now, as concerns the alleged licking–I recall the girl showing me pics of her dogs and I likely barked when I saw that, being silly and playful in the mood of the group, and pretended like I was gonna lick her hand. With everyone having a buzz on, people likely saw more than actually occurred. And the girl and I had good rapport and I didn’t perceive that she took this as anything but a joke and didn’t seem put off by it. I asked the girl to show me a pic of her husband and she did so. Then the woman leader and another woman came over and took the girl by her hands and led her away. I took this as an affront and put my cell in front of the girl, opened to New Contact Info. Then I started to leave to go buy some port. The girl started entering the info and got flustered and made a mistake and whined, asking for my help to fix the mistake. The girl wasn’t reluctant to enter the info–rather, she was eager. A girl isn’t gonna be eager to enter her contact info into the phone of a man she considers to be a creep. This girl also was a bit flirty and friendly and not merely polite in text messages. She sent me a Thanksgiving greeting text, so I am on her list of friends. A girl doesn’t put creeps on her list of friends. She doesn’t flirt with creeps. Girls don’t respond quickly when they get text messages from creeps; this girl always responded quickly to my text messages. Enough background–this girl clearly was Ok with me.
I told the leaders that I didn’t remember licking the girl’s hand or doing another thing they said I did which was to ask if they were married. I didn’t remember doing that; their status is not a concern to me in the slightest except that I might have needed to know it for some social reason. The leaders told me that if this happened again (which was nothing) then I wouldn’t be invited back. Big whoop, lol. I said nothing; I was relaxed and unconcerned and they were a bit discomfited and uncertain. Still, the whole thing was a bit creepy. I didn’t let the creepiness impact my attitude, though.
So, we hiked a bit and then we stopped at an outhouse for a break and to let people pee. I went first. The outhouse door doesn’t have a lock. I stood with my back to the door and heard girls’ voices. The door opened while I was peeing and I objected. The girls apologized and closed the door. One of the girls was a group leader. More creepiness from the group leaders. I don’t know if it was deliberate–she didn’t knock on the door and this wasn’t her first time at this outhouse. I didn’t let it affect my attitude.
Later the girl group leader offered me some snacks when we stopped, but I declined. My trust had diminished.
There was a new girl at the hike. She wanted to chat me up. I was polite and chatted a little. I felt like I was under the microscope, so I didn’t want to chat much with girls–especially if they were new. This girl giggled and laughed even though I wasn’t telling jokes–she was trying hard to get my attention. Of course, this only made me want to move on more quickly because I was trying to avoid more drama with the group leaders. The new girl seemed a little puzzled at my aloofness.
Then a single early-30s upper middle class woman talked loudly about wanting to get pregnant. It was weird. She talked about how she expected more pushback from people. This woman is socially awkward. She gave her phone no. to the male group leader right in front of his girlfriend. More creepiness. I just let it slide off my back. (This event happened near the end of the hike.)
When the hike was over, the group leaders separated from the group to chat. I continued walking with the group and the chatty girl continued trying to chat me up as the group leaders watched from a distance. I felt like I was part of the group but that the leaders had lost connection with the group.
Wrap up. I had fun on the hike, chatting with friends and avoiding letting the creepiness get to me, like a game. I also enjoyed the scenery, the balmy weather, the feeling of my legs moving, etc. Creepiness and awkwardness don’t have to prevent you from enjoying a social event if you keep your frame and your attitude.