accessories, agree & amplify, attention, attractive, awake, beauty, bed, bedroom, bitchy, bored, chairwoman, charm, chase, chatting, clothing, club, coffee, cosmetics, cupid, dancing, debrief, doctors, energy, entertainment, flirting, friend, fun & games, game, get away with, giggle, hair, hike, husband, immature, laugh, melodious, men, nonverbal communication, old friend, organization, pain in the ass, party, preselection, pretty, purpose, seen, sex, sex objects, shit test, social, stuck up, touch, validation, voice, wife, women
Girl game. Women game men all the time. Women doll themselves up with lipstick, lip gloss, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, foundation, fake eyelashes, rouge, clothing, shoes, earrings, nose rings, finger rings, various piercings, tats, hats, hairpins, wreaths, broaches, hair color, hair falls, wigs, purses, flowers, etc. Women do this to be seen. To be seen by men. To be viewed as sex objects by men. Shock! Horror! Say it ain’t so?!
It’s the biology, stupid. Men are attracted to women, especially through their eyes. And, correspondingly, women look for validation from men by trying to get male attention. Women deliberately move so that they stand in the primary visual zone of some men whose attention they crave. Standard girl game. They may be chatting up someone else in that zone whose attention they don’t crave. Maybe another man or a woman. But women will chase a man’s attention without being too blatant about doing so.
Then there’s voice game. When a woman is attracted to a man, her voice will modulate a great deal, with more higher and lower tones and variation in intensity, seeking attention with vocal contrast. A girl’s voice will be richer and more melodious. She will giggle and laugh, even at a man’s stupid jokes. This is voice game. Some men are strongly attracted by particular voices. I’m that way–Mrs. Gamer’s voice is exquisitely melodious and I love to listen to it as much as any song. I probably don’t pay a lot of attention to what Mrs. Gamer is even saying, lol.
I’ll give three examples of women gaming that I have observed very recently. First, I was out for a hike and a pretty girl was chatting me up, accompanied with her giggling and laughter even though I wasn’t telling any jokes. She was deliberately seeking my main attention and not merely wanting to be seen. The circumstances weren’t such that I wanted to be friendly with her, so I was polite and chatted just a bit, then gave minimal responses to her questions and once referred her to someone else.
Second, I was at a party and an old friend (OF) of Mrs. Gamer’s and mine was flirting with me, continually touching me lightly and quickly on the shoulder whenever she walked past me. Mrs. Gamer noticed OF’s behavior and didn’t think that it was anything unusual for OF and me. Mrs. Gamer was defending OF even when OF flirted with Mrs. Gamer’s husband! OF has charmed Mrs. Gamer, lol. OF is still a very pretty girl and is very popular. (She is chairwoman of the organization that hosted the party.) OF wanted my attention for social reasons–she was trying to get some party energy going and liven things up. So, OF’s flirting was at least in part for a larger social purpose.
There’s a very little background to my interaction with OF. Decades ago when I was single, I worked in the same unit as OF and Mrs. Gamer. Sometimes things were slow and the girls would get bored and look for entertainment. I was young and an easy target and a single man. The other men were doctors and busy at their work. OF would suddenly tap me on the shoulder and run away, giggling, and I would chase her. Other girls would join in and we’d have a game of tag going. Mrs. Gamer never played with the rest of us and I recalled this with OF. OF and I teased Mrs. Gamer about having been stuck up and thinking that the rest of us had been acting immaturely and Mrs. Gamer agreed and laughed. I told OF that she had played Cupid in bringing Mrs. Gamer and me together. With all the girls in the unit flirting with me, Mrs. Gamer had finally noticed me. Previously, I had been invisible to Mrs. Gamer. Preselection–women pay attention to the opinions of other women about whether men are attractive, generally based on nonverbal communication. If one woman is laughing and giggling around a man, or obviously flirting with him, other women will notice that and also find the man to be attractive.
OF likely was also flirting because she was seeking validation and attempting to discern how attractive she is to me now after decades of not seeing one another and may have been seeing what she could get away with before Mrs. Gamer or her husband objected. A lot of the time that OF flirted with me I was chatting with her husband and was seated in between her husband and Mrs. Gamer. So, there were likely several motivations for OF’s flirtations. (I didn’t notice her flirting with other men, but I wasn’t tracking her either, lol.) OF is very efficient in her gaming and was seeking answers to several questions from one flirtation track.
The third and final example of a girl gaming is Mrs. Gamer post party. Mrs. Gamer had been expecting me to take her dancing at a club, but I was too tired, what with only having slept for 3.5 hours the night before, being short on sleep before that, and having hiked for four hours that morning. OF was persistent and tried to talk me into staying at her party, but I managed to eventually pull away and Mrs. Gamer and I left.
Mrs. Gamer bitched about not getting to go dancing at this other club. She was pouty. I was cool and fun and low energy. When we got home, I wanted Fun & Games ™, but Mrs. Gamer bitched about it. I was just fun and playful and Mrs. Gamer didn’t fight too hard, but she continued bitching and was trying hard to be a pain in the ass. I just laughed. She objected to everything and I just made fun of her. Mrs. Gamer had a good time and was bitchy about that when I pointed it out, lol. I was mellow and playful and Mrs. Gamer was unhappy about that. Mrs. Gamer threatened to keep me awake. I let her awaken a couple of times, then went downstairs and got some coffee. Agree and amplify. Drinking coffee will keep me awake and I didn’t care if Mrs. Gamer tried to keep me awake. Eventually I returned to the bedroom and laid down. My message was that I wasn’t afraid of Mrs. Gamer trying to keep me awake. Mrs. Gamer bitched at me some more, threatening to keep me awake. I lol’d. I went to sleep and so did Mrs. Gamer. When Mrs. Gamer woke up the next morning, she was happy, chatty, and playful. I debriefed her about her bitchiness and Mrs. Gamer admitted that she had been very bitchy and had been trying to make me mad and had been unhappy with herself that she couldn’t rattle me, yet simultaneously pleased with me that she couldn’t shake my frame. Mrs. Gamer also enjoyed the freedom to express her bitchiness and wallow in her bitchy emotions. Mrs. Gamer had thrown a massive shit test at me and was extremely pleased that I had smashed it. Mrs. Gamer had been gaming me with her massive shit test–trying to figure out who I was and how she felt about me.