apologize, awkward, chase, cheat, cheater, confused, crush, defensive, feeling, fuck, infatuation, insecure, instigation, limerence, loyalty, mentally unsettled, oxytocin, poison the well, shy, social competitor, suspicion, suspicious, trust, woman
There’s a broad I know around whom I feel awkward, shy, and confused. Also a bit defensive and insecure. I don’t feel this way around any other woman. I don’t like feeling this way, so I avoid this woman even though I like her. I think that it’s related to me getting a shot of oxytocin every time I see her face. The oxytocin addiction to her face is a longstanding issue with this broad. The effect is diminishing, but it’s still enough to unsettle me if I’m not mentally prepared to deal with it. Since I don’t trust this woman any farther than I can throw her*, it’s not wise of me to be around her if I feel mentally unsettled. It takes a lot of mental effort to generate the will I need to overcome my shyness. I have done it, but I have to be very focused and it detracts from my enjoyment of the evening.
*I have lots of reasons not to trust this broad. For one thing, I’m certain that she fucked a social competitor who feels threatened by me. She flaked on me once–showed up 90 minutes late–likely at the instigation of my competitor. I suspect this broad of also poisoning the well with other girls who are acquaintances of mine. This broad also likely laid a ruse to isolate with me a couple of times. And while this broad was fucking my social competitor, she chased me whenever he wasn’t around. No loyalty. This broad refuses to apologize for being rude to me. So I don’t trust her.