approach, asd, attention, attraction, avoid mating, ballsy, behave, believe, biology, body language, chase, dance, dancer, dominance, drama, emotional, exit, fear, flirt, follow, gaze, good girl, hard on, hard-wired, i hate you, i wanna fuck you, ignore, interest, laser, leading, mating, mirror, mirroring, rude, shrug, signal, slap, slapping, spank, speaking slowly, spike, submissive, subtle, tingles, touch, venue, water cooler
It was so much fun for both of us. You see, she had been rude to me in the past and I had been ignoring her for a couple of months. She has a big Hard On for me, but pretends to be a good girl. The girl (I’ll call her ‘J’) has chased me for months and still wants my attention and my touch, but refuses to apologize. So I decided what I would do and sthe next time I saw her…which was at a dance venue I figured she’d be at.
I saw J and looked at her just enough to signal interest. She avoided my gaze. This happened several times. I went to the water cooler. J followed immediately. She almost always sees this as a signal to meet. I greeted J and she was warm and we chatted for a minute or so. I was friendly, but detached. J’s body language was submissive, with head declined and looking up.
I went and sat down and J sat down one table away (about seven feet away) in my field of vision, her leg crossed towards me, but facing 90 degrees so that I saw her profile. Not close enough to indicate that she wanted to talk–J just wanted me to look at her. Standard behavior when a girl chases and tries to be subtle. J wanted me to approach her and show more interest. Think of squirrels mating–sometimes the female runs away and wants the male to chase her. I turned and watched the dancers and ignored J. I showed J minimal interest. Let her worry about what I was thinking. Maybe I was gonna keep on ignoring her.
After the second song ended, I approached J. J stood up and signaled that she wanted to dance by shrugging her shoulders and raising her right arm. It was a question, “Wanna dance?” using body language. J has previously told me that she wouldn’t ask me to dance. Believe what women do, not what they say. J wanted to dance with me. She didn’t want to avoid me.
J was standing between two tables which were about three feet apart. I immediately took J by the back with both hands and moved her so that I blocked her exit. It was a dominance move…a leading move…a ballsy move. J took me by the back as well. She was mirroring me, signaling attraction. I lasered J and she did likewise. More mirroring and more attraction-signaling. I told J, “Sometimes I wanna slap you…”. J stiffened and leaned back and away, looking up at me, worried…maybe thinking “Oh shit, is he gonna slap me?” I paused for a couple of seconds, speaking slowly. “…silly. And sometimes I wanna spank you.” J’s eyes widened, she started to smile, then said, “I’m just here to dance.” Maybe she was thinking, “Oh, shit, is he gonna kiss me here in public?” I had triggered J’s ASD. Her Anti-Slut Defense. (It’s something biologically hard-wired in women to behave as if they are avoiding mating.)
What I had done was to give J a ride on an emotional roller coaster…”I hate you” followed by “I wanna fuck you hard”. J’s attraction spiked so much that her ASD kicked in.
I then told J that I was getting ready to leave and go to another venue. J said that she was also likely to go home early and asked about the other venue, looking for a reason to go there…a reason to chase me…I didn’t give her a reason…I was again telling her, “I hate you.” I walked out of the venue. However, I had left my coat and went back to get it.
So J was putting on her coat as I went back to get mine. I picked mine up and started putting it on. There was a song playing that meant a particular dance was going to happen and I wanted to dance it with her…and give her shit, too. Bring up stuff from the past that needed to be dealt with. Drama. No way to avoid it. J needed it. And it would be fun for me to give her shit.
So, I looked at J and told her that I would give her a dance. J removed her coat and we went out on the dance floor. We started dancing. J bumped me with her hip. Flirty. I told J, “X and I don’t get along…” (X is a guy who J used to hook up with.) J was rattled and got off on the wrong foot and stayed that way. She looked startled and said, “I think that X is dancing at YYY club now. He doesn’t come here any more.” J was signaling that she no longer hooked up with X. I continued, “…but of course you know that.” J replied, “I don’t do drama.” I laughed.
Persisting, I said, “And one night I came in late and saw you and X on the same side of the table chatting. X immediately moved to the other side of the table so that you wouldn’t see me.” J answered, “Drama is uninteresting.” She continued to dance badly, even though she is normally an excellent dancer. It was a very simple choreographed dance. J was very rattled. I was enjoying myself and smiling broadly. J’s facial expression was very worried. I said, “We don’t have to dance if you don’t want to.” J replied, “I like dancing with you, Gamer.” I had given J the emotions associated with drama as well as fear and attraction. She had received a very enjoyable emotional cocktail, despite, or maybe because of the fear and drama. Also, J had received my attention; she values me highly.. We finished the dance and I bid J good night and headed out.
Give a girl an emotional roller coaster…fear…tingles…validation…drama…comfort.