Tags
ethic, feelings, legal system, marriage, patriarchy, pickup artist, romance, sex, tingles, vows
There is a very common view among the fair sex that sex is validated by romance. In other words, if a woman is in love with a man, then sex with that man is justified. Commitment is desired by women, but it is not required for sex. Neither is marriage required by many women. For many of the distaff sex, romantic feelings are sufficient reason for a poke with an amorous phallus. Of course, marriage vows used to be the requirement for sex under the Patriarchy, back when the legal system would have enforced those vows. However, the legal system will now only enforce a redistribution of assets when a divorce occurs. It’s very handy for women to be able to divorce their sexual ethics from the onerous burden of a patriarchal legal system.
NB: A pickup artist would view this ethic as “Tingles validates sex for a woman.” He would see the woman’s love feelings as tingles (sexual/romantic attraction).
A don’t think any woman should have sex without a commitment.
I never did.
Just my .02
However women do have sex with men when they believe the men are going to commit. And during ovulation our bodies actually tell us that the “player” types make better fathers. [http://www.sscnet.ucla.edu/comm/haselton/unify_uploads/files/gildersleeve%20et%20al.%20sex%20roles%202013.pdf] Add to that the fact that many women, especially young women who didn’t have decent mothers or just didn’t listen to them, and we have a bad recipe. Base biology + poor social structure = biological functions running uncontrolled. The same problem that promotes obesity in our society also promotes casual sex.
“Add to that the fact that many women, especially young women who didn’t have decent mothers or just didn’t listen to them, and we have a bad recipe. Base biology + poor social structure = biological functions running uncontrolled. The same problem that promotes obesity in our society also promotes casual sex.”
I’m in 100 percent agreement, superslaviswife.
But a man is seeking sex. How does it benefit him to make a commitment given the VAWA laws? What commitment are you suggesting? What is the cost to a man to make a commitment? Why would he make any commitment without assurance that his sexual needs would be met? Why should he trust a woman at all? What should be his plan?
It would depend on what he wants. If he doesn’t want to commit he can still to having sex with women who don’t expect a commitment (at least, until they do…they always do). If he wants to have sex with a woman who won’t without a commitment, he’ll have to agree to a commitment (whatever type she requires). Those are his options. I’d suggest a very careful character screen beforehand, which very much rules out the one night stand. But plenty of women will have one night stands so he can stick to those if that’s the situation he requires. It won’t protect him from crazy…if anything, women who are sexually profligate rather than exclusive tend to be crazier than others who are not.
I’ll add more. Feeling chatty.
It’s eight, I’ve been up for four hours, can’t post at Judgybitch’s anymore because I refuse to get facebook or twitter. Wish I could because her drone assertion is erroneous.
Per commitment, it comes down to supply versus demand. On both sides. Life isn’t chick lit, no one can have it all, and a guy isn’t likely to commit to you out of a hookup or bootycall. But if you’re down for that, and want him badly enough be that hookup/booty call girl. Just don’t expect it to amount to much.
OTOH, if you’re a guy you can stick to women who perform hookups. And you’re going to have limit yourself to girls who go for hookups. Commitment for either sex requires a very thorough character assessment and that takes time. But I wouldn’t suggest for women (I won’t make any suggestions to men) to not have sex with anyone who doesn’t actually like you as a person or want to spend time with you outside the bedroom. It’s an intimate act which should be reserved for intimacy unless you value yourself very little.
Mike and I started having sex right away when we started dating (and he wanted a commitment right away, I’d never be the one to ask for it, I’m just the one who isn’t going to have sex without it) and it was hot and heavy. He dated other people before he said he wanted exclusivity with me, and then he stopped when we started dating. But we’d spent a great, great deal of time together getting to know each other beforehand. Hours and hours and hours on the phone too. With my ex boyfriend, we dated and were exclusive for an entire year first.
Liz, men will prefer FWB to fakkbuddies. Men prefer friendship to pure sex. I don’t think that I can physically have sex with anyone I don’t like. Rape, for me, I think, is physically impossible. I have to at least like a woman to want to have sex with her.
So, by “commitment” do you mean “sexual exclusivity”? Bf/gf status? Not necessarily cohabitation?
I know one single man who found himself surprisingly in a fakkbuddy situation with a married woman. He said that her husband couldn’t have sex for some reason and the wife wasn’t ready to hang up her boots, but didn’t want a relationship beyond sex. No emotional connection and as little contact as possible. It makes sense for her in her particular situation.
“So, by “commitment” do you mean “sexual exclusivity”? Bf/gf status? Not necessarily cohabitation?”
Yes, sexual exclusivity.
gamer,
why do you post at spany’s? That blog is the mental ward of the sphere. I’d like to slap some sense into that fuzziewuzzie omega
For the childrennnn. Lol, it’s for the lurkers.
Plus, I just like a lot of the people.
Just read your post at Rollos.
“LTRs are for blue pills and betas”
In which case, why does any of this matter?
No LTR= no commitment, and commitment is for beta schleps and blue pills who won’t read this anyway.
And women who are down with hookups for alpha cock don’t care.
The end.
Why the disappointment? I acknowledged that I made a beta move in getting married. That was during my Blue Pill period. I wish that our laws enforced marriage vows, but they don’t, so marriage is a bad idea. You might get lucky (you are very lucky and I’m fairly lucky) in marriage, but most people don’t get lucky in marriage.
Yes, you are dopey and it is endearing. Mrs. Gamer is also dopey in a judgmental way. I like the predictability. It gives a woman a particular “feel” to her personality.
Lol! Going on a road trip to Mom’s now, Gamer.
Have a good day.
🙂
I’ll try not to get into a car wreck. 😉
Journey mercies, babydoll.