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This post was inspired by a body language signal given off by a woman which I saw recently. She saw me and reflexively turned sideways, crossed her arms, lowered her head, lowered her eyes and grimaced. When I saw this, I knew that the woman was experiencing pain, but I didn’t realize the full import.
A while later it hit me. I had done this very same thing back in college. My college girlfriend broke up with me. Every day I would see her as I walked on campus and experienced emotional torment and sometimes would adopt the very same body language that I saw in the woman recently. The emotional pain is severe and akin to getting sucker punched with the wind knocked out of you–only worse due to the intense sorrow and grief.
It may be important to be able to recognize this signal when you see it.
On body language, here’s something I’ve only just noticed about dominant men (which says a lot about A: how few dominant men I’ve met and B: how little attention I pay to people, but I digress). When addressing someone, either verbally or physically, a dominant man’s eyebrows lift, eyes widen, pupils contract and he makes direct eye contact. With men and women alike, when a dominant man wants someone to be quiet, starts talking to them or wants to show off, that is how they make eye contact. And almost without fail it commands the other person’s full attention and makes them stop talking. Even when the male is introverted, sat down or remains still and relaxed, people react to those eyes.
And the dominant male doesn’t seem to realize what he’s doing with his eyes, either. He knows he’s projecting dominance and possibly trying to get a specific reaction, but the eye movement is completely involuntary and unpreventable.
It’s fascinating to watch in action. A whole room can be silenced by a man glaring at them.
Thanks, Darlin’. I’ll check this out.
Darlin, have you ever experienced the emotional torment of seeing a lover who has rejected you?
Never. I am what some would call emotionally stunted, so I have only once experienced sexual attraction and I freely let go of friends and family when one of us doesn’t want to interact any more. I just don’t really care for people on a deeper level.
The only thing I have is that the very thought of Jon ever hurting or leaving me, whilst ridiculous to me, is also incredibly physically painful. Heart fast, chest and neck tight, eyes ache, wrists ache. So I suppose that’s sort of what it’s like.