addiction, camera, cell, computer, depression, electronic images, email, emotional bonding, facebook, focus, hobbies, new venue, pictures, platonic bonding, rebound, social media, stalk, the ex, trusted friend
You probably will need to break emotional bonding with a (wo)man at some point. Here are some things that you will need to do in pursuit of that objective:
- Think of him/her as “the ex”. This will provide the mental frame you need to keep things in perspective.
- Understand that the ex is an addiction that you need to break. Nail this firmly in your mind. You don’t want to hang on. The relationship with the ex is now part of your past. It’s over.
- Give your pictures of the ex to someone else to keep for you until you are no longer bonded. This includes electronic images on your computer/camera/cell. Email those to a trusted friend, then delete them.
- Don’t stalk the ex where (s)he lives. Don’t stalk the ex on social media like facebook. That will only prolong the addiction.
- Avoid seeing pictures of the ex on social media like facebook. Seeing his/her picture will prolong your addiction to the ex.
- Don’t contact the ex; block the ex’s no. if (s)he contacts you. De-friend him/her on FB and de-friend his/her friends, too, if they contact you or if they grab your attention and it prolongs letting go.
- Don’t talk about the ex with others unless absolutely necessary. Guard against this temptation. Again, focusing your attention on the ex will prolong your addiction.
- Minimize the platonic component of bonding. Think about reasons not to like the ex. You will need to argue with yourself about why your ex is not so likeable from time to time. However, you want to avoid thinking about your ex as much as possible, so don’t overdo the analysis that is part of cutting the platonic ties.
- Avoid being places where the ex used to be. For a dancer, this will require finding new dance venues.
- Watch out for signs of depression—letting things go, not being around other people, staying at home, not doing new things.
- Get new hobbies and interests.
- Take up hobbies that your own gender likes to do and the other gender typically doesn’t
- Get out of the house. Avoid being alone much. When you are, do activities that require you to focus your attention so that your thoughts won’t drift towards the ex
- Avoid deep convos with the other sex; that can lead to rebound bonding