22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church [q]in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body.
Wives are commanded to be subject to their husbands because wives often are rebellious against their husbands and this needs to be fixed.
Husbands are commanded to love their wives like Christ loved the church, which is His body which He nourishes and cherishes.
There is no mention here of a husband being required to be a strong or adequate leader before the wife is to submit to him. Imagine if an employee refused to obey an employer because the employer failed to lead adequately. Termination of employment? Or, in a military context, suppose that a lieutenant refused to obey a captain’s order because the lieutenant thought that the captain wasn’t showing adequate leadership. Court martial, anyone? Summary execution if done on the battlefield.
There is no mention here of a wife being excused from the submission requirement because her husband fails to lead adequately.
There is no mention here of a wife having authority to judge whether her husband is leading adequately. That authority rests with the church and with God.