Liz brought up a great question that I will explore: “For me, submission requires trust.”
What is trust? Is it a decision or a feeling? How does trust relate to submission? These are complex questions and can only be touched on briefly in a post.
Trust in a relationship has many modes, including fidelity, fiduciary, work-related, and child-care-related. However, I will explore what trust is to a woman rather than objective ideas about trust.
A woman assumes that her man has certain obligations to her, provision and fidelity being prominent. She
assumes trusts that he will fulfill those obligations. Her judgment about whether he has fulfilled those obligations is emotional. Generally, if her cortisol level is low, she will <I>feel</I> trusting of her man. If her cortisol level rises, she will begin to doubt him and hamster a reason why she ought to doubt him.
The hamster can generate a strong argument that the woman has a rational justification for not trusting the man–hence, he must not be trustworthy and she will be justified in not submitting to him. All this follows from a high level of cortisol.
On the other hand, if a man cheats (thus raising the woman’s cortisol level) but supplies a lot of comfort, the woman’s cortex will likely hamster a reason why she ought to stay with the man despite his being untrustworthy.
A man can help diminish a high level of cortisol in a woman by providing comfort to her. Hence, providing comfort to a woman can generate feelings of trust for him in her no matter his actual behavior.