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There are three types of bonding between a man and a woman–sexual attraction, romantic bonding, and platonic bonding–and all contribute to the strength of a relationship.

Sexual attraction:  Sexual attraction is different between men and women.  Men’s sexual attraction is primarily fueled by a woman’s beauty, youth, and femininity.  Other things can have a significant effect if the sexual attractiveness rating of a partner is close to the minimum threshold.  Women’s attraction is affected by a man’s confidence, status, social awareness, jerkiness/thuggishness (is he dangerous?), looks, and evaluation of him by other women (female herd opinion = preselection).

Romantic bonding: Oxytocin promotes  romantic bonding.  You get this from sexing up your partner and looking at his/her face periodically.  Or from lead/follow dancing.  This won’t replace sexually attractive bonding, but it can affect it significantly.  Duty sex promotes romantic bonding.  Too much of a need for it indicates a major relationship problem.

Platonic bonding: Sweetness promotes platonically bonding a man to a woman.  Thoughtfulness promotes platonically bonding a woman to a man.  Platonic bonding will not replace sexual attraction, of course, but it can affect it enough to reduce/raise sexual attraction above a minimum threshold.  Bitchiness will always negatively affect a woman’s sexual attractiveness.  Paradoxically, jerkiness will often raise a man’s sexual attractiveness.  So, a man who is too thoughtful and not jerky enough will find that his woman won’t perceive him as attractive as when he is somewhat jerky.  However, sweetness in a woman will never cause a man to see her as less sexually attractive; quite the contrary, it will increase his perception of her femininity and increase her sexual attractiveness in his eyes.