5h1t-test, Christ, cultural context, disciples, eternal life, flirting, isolated, Jacob, Jesus, living water, Messiah, orgasm, Samaritan woman, sex, sexual potency, sexual thirst, shit test, sin, theology, well
We’ll be looking at the passage which reports about Jesus’ interaction with a Samaritan woman and trying to read it better than the way that it is read traditionally.
First, let’s establish the cultural context. Jews didn’t speak to Samaritans and righteous Jews didn’t speak to women who were alone unless they were married. We see both of these things implied in verses 9 and 27. The disciples were amazed that Jesus had been speaking to the woman. This fact is emphasized by the mention of questions that they might have asked. Jesus and the Samaritan woman are isolated. The Samaritan woman claims to not have a husband, implying that she is available for sex. Sexuality is on the table and is the interpretive framework for verses leading up to verse 17.
First, the Samaritan woman 5h1t-tests Jesus in verse 9. She implies that Jesus isn’t righteous for asking the woman for a drink of water. Now we’ll look at the dealings through the lens of the woman.
<I>Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’</I> The Samaritan woman sees that Jesus is doing a DHV.
<I>you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.</I>
The Samaritan woman wonders if Jesus is talking about His sexual potency, so she asks a qualifying question.
<I>She *said to Him, “Sir, You have nothing to draw with and the well is deep; where then do You get that living water? You are not greater than our father Jacob, are You, who gave us the well, and drank of it himself and his sons and his cattle?”</I> In other words, “Sir, are you seriously talking about water from the earth? And I don’t believe your claims about your sexual potency. [another 5h1t-test] I don’t think that you even have a d1ck and I’m a whole lotta woman. Jacob was a real man with kids and wealth. You got nothing.”
<I>Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”</I> Again, remember that we are looking at this through the lens of the woman hearing it. She hears Jesus saying, “Sex with me will give you an orgasm that will never stop. Not only will you not forget it, but remembering it will let you experience it over and over.”
The woman decides to try Jesus. <I>The woman *said to Him, “Sir, give me this water, so I will not be thirsty nor come all the way here to draw.</I> The woman admits her intense sexual thirst and her wanton behavior in coming to the public well to find men for sex. She wants out of her lifestyle. The woman thinks that the way out is sex with Jesus.
<I>He said to her, “Go, call your husband and come here.” The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.”</I>
The woman thinks that Jesus is checking her availability and indicates that she is available. However, Jesus confronts the woman with her sin and she realizes that she has been reading Jesus all wrong.
<I>Jesus *said to her, “You have correctly said, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this you have said truly.”</I> Jesus says this in an indirect way with the most positive interpretation possible on it. He reads the woman’s indirect communication expertly.
Next, the woman attempts to divert attention from her own sin to theological controversy. <I>The woman said to Him, “Sir, I perceive that You are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped in this mountain, and you people say that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship.”</I> She also grants Jesus status as a prophet.
Jesus answers the woman’s question directly, allowing the reframe and engaging her curiosity. <I>Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe Me, an hour is coming when neither in this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers. God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.”</I>
Jesus also grants that Samaritans have access to God by His Spirit, even though access through the Temple is denied them. Jesus also claims that the Jews have a better way, since salvation is from the Jews. The woman is still confused. <I>The woman said to Him, “I know that Messiah is coming (He who is called Christ); when that One comes, He will declare all things to us.</I> She wants to know Jesus’ position on the Messiah.
Jesus tells her that He is the Messiah. <I>Jesus *said to her, “I who speak to you am</I> He.”
<I>At this point His disciples came, and they were amazed that He had been speaking with a woman, yet no one said, “What do You seek?” or, “Why do You speak with her?”</I> This covers my point about the surprising encounter–Jesus speaking with a single woman while they were isolated. It was unusual and unexpected. It raised questions.
What is the woman’s response to all this? <I>So the woman left her waterpot, and went into the city and said to the men, “Come, see a man who told me all the things that I have done; this is not the Christ, is it?” They went out of the city, and were coming to Him.</I> This is why Jesus spoke with the Samaritan woman. Her perception is that Jesus was flirting. Jesus used flirting as a mechanism to engage the woman’s understanding and transition to revelation of Jesus’ nature–that He is the Messiah.