This story is about me and the weird way I ended up doing pickup.
Flash back to when dinosaurs roamed the earth–say, forty years or so. There was no Secret Society, no PUA community, no PUA academies or workshops, no The Game. There was only Playboy magazine and a few books. I hit puberty at 14, kissed two girls that year, and began attending an all-boys boarding school the next year. My school was in a small town and the only girls in sight were the pre-pubescent and just-pubescent housemaster’s daughters. It was a sexual desert. The sexual sands were dry and parched–empty of female life. The housemaster’s daughters and wife started looking good–that’s how bad it was. We boys got very “thirsty.”
Then, a sexual oasis appeared in the distance. Girls from an all-girls boarding school were getting bussed in for a party, with freestyle dancing. Preparations for the party commenced; decorations were hung; food and non-alcoholic beverages were ordered; I got some really awful cheap wine from one of the other boys. Other boys bought drugs and condoms. My inhibitions wouldn’t let me buy condoms. Things didn’t look promising for pickup artistry.
The day of the party arrived and we boys ambled to the party room. We loaded up on food and drinks and waited for the girls to arrive, chatting. Finally, the girls arrived. They walked shyly into the party room. It was like cold water to parched lips. We boys looked at the girls and some of us made eye contact. I felt very shy and insecure whenever I made eye contact. Still, if a girl smiled, I gained confidence and approached, asking for a dance. After the dance, if the girl seemed at least a little interested, I’d try to chat her up. One of the books I had read suggested asking open-ended questions; that seemed to work well as far as getting a convo going.
With time being limited, I didn’t want to wait too long to sexualize. The girls would only be there for one night, then they were heading back to their school. Hence, I’d ask a girl to walk with me outside within ten minutes of meeting her for the purpose of necking/petting. Sometimes a girl wouldn’t want to hold hands, so I’d take her back inside after a few minutes of chatting and try with another girl. Sometimes she’d hold hands and walk with me, chatting, but would balk at a kiss, so I’d take her back inside and try with another girl. Being outside, there was always the danger of discovery and there were the elements as well. It wasn’t like going to apartments was an option–we could try to get away with trying it in the dorm rooms, but the housemaster was roaming the halls. I didn’t have a car. A few times I pushed for sex, but was always rebuffed when I admitted that I didn’t have any condoms.
So, my only option was pickup with whatever kind of sexual escalation girls wanted to do the same night–I had no option for relationships while at boarding school. Certainly, lots of times the girls were pretty boy-crazy and were hungry for sexual attention, so there was a fair amount of interest among the girls in having some same-night activity. Hence, I got some experience in pickup artistry, though without the close. (I discovered that girls found me attractive and that built up my confidence.)
This is how I ended up doing pickup–it was totally unplanned on my part and due to the limited availability of girls. It taught me some valuable things. I learned 1) how to handle making eye contact and approaching, 2) how to chat a girl up, 3) how to isolate a girl and sexualize, 4) about escalation, 5) about soft “no’s”, patience, and perseverance, 6) about instigation, and 7) about how important logistics is (having a private place for sex, having condoms, etc.).