Women aren’t logical in the way that they approach sex or romance. If you want sex or romance, you have to approach women in a way that works, which assumes that they aren’t logical. You can’t argue logically and get a woman to like you. Here’s a plan that works:
0. Keep smiling the whole time. Go to some event where people are expected to meet other people and talk to them.
1. Approach and greet a woman while looking her in the eye. Introduce yourself and ask her name.
2. Notice something neutral or attractive about a woman’s accessories (jewelry, purse, belt, scarf) and comment about it.
3. Ask a woman an open-ended question that will let her talk about herself a lot without becoming too intimate. You will have to have a question prepared.
4. While the woman is talking, figure out some way to tease her. What is she a little sensitive about? You have to be careful and do this right. A little teasing is good–too much is uncomfortable. You may need some trial and error to figure out how to tease and how much. Don’t worry if women become uncomfortable and leave. Next time, try again with less teasing and something which they are less sensitive about.
5. Iterate between steps 3 and 4. At some point ask for her contact info.
6. Call the woman and ask her how she is, how she has been doing, ask her what she has been doing since you saw her last. If she has serious issues like acute health problems or very ill close family members, you will need to call her again later.
7. Assuming that the woman’s life is not too complicated, ask her to meet you for coffee at a certain time, date, and location. You may need to adjust these depending on her logistics.
8. Meet the woman for coffee and continue steps 3&4; smile a lot, of course. After a few iterations, if the woman is smiling, hold out your hand to her, palm up; she should put her hand in yours if she finds you attractive. If she doesn’t put her hand in yours, she may just be shy; you may have to gently tease, smiling and saying, “What!? Am I some kind of monster? Is that why you won’t give me your hand?” Hold her hand briefly, then let go.
9. Take the woman on a walk outside. Hold out your hand to her and walk holding hands. Continue to iterate 3&4, smiling. After a bit, stop walking, continue talking and holding her gaze and smiling; move your head closer to hers (maybe about a foot at first, then advance slowly to six inches). Continue talking for about fifteen seconds. If she continues smiling and seems comfortable, approach for a kiss. If she stops smiling or starts fidgeting, back away and break eye contact.
9. If the woman generates comfort (isn’t a crazy), ask her if she can meet you for cocktails at a club. A club is a “fun” environment. Serious discussions aren’t often appropriate there; being fun and a little silly _is_ appropriate. You may need to read up on appropriate behavior in fun environments like at parties and clubs.
Why does this work?
Women like to be teased and treated as sexual beings. They don’t like to be pedestalized or treated as nuns. Women like to be engaged in conversational wrestling–that’s why they like being teased. Teasing also says, “I like you,” and generates comfort with this message (but teasing also generates some discomfort and excitement). A “good guy” who is seeking marriage will tease prospects. It’s important to generate comfort along with the teasing, of course. Teasing helps to convey fitness as well as showing yourself to be an interesting guy.
Pickup Artists generate a lot of comfort and good guys also need to do that. It’s appropriate when seeking marriage to let a woman know that she’s sexually attractive to you _at the right time and in the right way_. Call it “appropriate sexualization.” Back when I was after girls, I didn’t sexualize the convo, but went for a kiss which communicated affection and sexualization after first holding hands. Holding hands communicates affection and builds comfort; it also sexualizes minimally.