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So, I had been dancing for a few hours at my favorite country bar.  I saw a table of six pretty young girls—twenty-somethings.  I hadn’t danced with any of them and didn’t know if they knew how to dance.  So I approached the table and simply broadcast, “Do any of you know how to dance?”  This was a cheeky message.  Classic jerkboy, though my smile was friendly, not smirky.  I didn’t intend to go jerkboy, but I’m autistic and it’s an occasional occurrence.  The dominant girl tried to danceblock, saying, “I’m too tired.  I’ll pass.”  I held her gaze for a few moments and kept smiling amusedly.  Still smiling, I looked at a couple of winggirls sitting beside her who weren’t smiling and held their gaze until they looked away.  Then I looked at the back of the table and saw that a couple of girls were smiling broadly with shining eyes.  I held their gaze briefly, still smiling, then turned my back and casually walked away.

Suddenly, one of the girls in the back—a leggy brunette—called out, “Wait!  I’ll dance with you, but you’ll have to be patient with me.  I just learned to dance tonight.”  The brunette’s message was, “I’ll submit to you.”  I had culled one from the herd with my aloof confident dominance, which I demonstrated by walking away confidently after multiple rejections (essentially a nuclear rejection which I had simply shrugged off).  The lead female’s dominance was broken.  My status with the group was now AMOG—Alpha Male Of the Group.  The girl who I danced with had two left feet, but she told me where she lived and worked out of town, presumably because of logistics—she probably was wanting me to ask for her phone no.  (I didn’t pick that up at the time—autism strikes again!)

Next time I wanted to dance with her, I simply said, “Let’s dance” and brushed aside her objections with “I will teach and lead you.” I didn’t ask—I simply assumed the sale and essentially ordered her to dance.  That’s confidence—and she was eating it up.  She was totally submitted to me.  So I worked on teaching her a new couples dance.  Her eyes were bright and she had a shit-eating grin on her face the whole time that we danced.  It was obvious that she was tingling.  No doubt she would have been thrilled to give me some sugar!

Analysis

This kind of power play only works if you have the internal frame for it.  I didn’t fake any of my frame.  I was totally comfortable the whole time.  Part of my frame was due to being able to dance and part was due to experience handling women.  (I grew up without a father around, but got input from various men.  I was in a culture where masculine lesson could be picked up.  You can still find that culture in Boy Scouts, ballroom dancing, shooting, hunting, etc.)

Here’s what happened, with lessons.  I approached a group of much-younger women with amused, aloof confidence.  I broadcast a cheeky message.  I maintained a positive, friendly facial expression despite several rejections.  I was never butthurt.  I never apologized for my cheeky message (that would have been beta).  I was able to hold the gaze of unfriendly women until they broke.  I was aloof and amused throughout.  My frame never changed.  I was AMOG.  Girls will always abandon their herd for a man that they find attractive.  The lead girl will try to prevent girls from leaving her herd.  Girls, a lot of times, will wait until they are just about to lose you to make a play for you.  Pass multiple fitness tests all at once and the tingles become a flood.  Women like to be led without asking them questions.  If you’re confident that they are submitted, simply order them.  Assume the sale.

I haven’t shown it yet with this group, but if you can get one to break from the herd, you can get others by approaching later and chatting with the first one.  See who else wants to talk to you.  Shy girls will be looking at you, so you’ll have to spot them and approach them.  Peel off several from the herd and you can get the whole herd, pretty much, including the dominant woman.  Some women just won’t be into you, so you may get an occasional individual rejection.  If you spend time with other women in the herd, eventually the dominant woman will probably approach you herself.  She will want to submit to the AMOG.

How could I have screwed this up?

  1. If I wasn’t aloof.  If I had oneitis for one girl.  If I cared about the outcome.
  2. If I wasn’t positive and smiling.  If I let myself care about rejections and get butthurt.
  3. If I apologized for my cheekiness.  Don’t apologize.  Don’t worry about a little cheekiness—let your frame cover any minor misdemeanors.
  4. If I approached one girl at a time.  Then the herd would have worked together to block me.
  5. If I had dropped gazes first.  Holding the girls’ gazes showed my dominance.
  6. If I had been unapproachable—say if I had left quickly from the bar or had ignored the call from the table.
  7. If I had approached the smiling girls instead of walking away.  Walking away forced them to commit 100% and break from the herd or risk losing my attention.  Walking away put the most pressure on the weakest-willed girl.